Weird Shit On Netflix
Welcome to my second installment of “weird shit I’ve watched on Netflix.” I figure, why not share my strange experiences with you, our readers?
This was a bizarre delight of a movie, directed by Luc Besson (who brought us the amazing “Fifth Element” and the disappointing “Lucy”).
Adele Blanc-Sec is an archeologist who travels to Egypt to discuss her sister’s unfortunate medical condition with a mummy who used to be a doctor before he died and was mummified. Elsewhere, someone raises a pterodactyl from the dead and begins to help it wreak havoc in Paris. There’s a small dog. Eventually, this all becomes one coherent plotline. That’s really all you need to know, right?
Also, Blanc-Sec faces all manner of misogyny then punches it and feeds it to the pterodactyl. She’s Indiana Jones from France, and I love her. Watch this now.
From the creator of “Shaolin Soccer,” this odd movie is about a guy who is the Bobby Flay of China and ends up in disgrace due to being sort of a douchebag. It’s the Bobby Flay story. (I’m kidding. Kind of.)
There’s an over-the-top craziness to this movie that I sincerely enjoyed. The main character winds up clawing his way back to the top by creating the moistest beef balls in the world. The beef ball squirting scenes are worth a watch all by themselves. The chefs all behave like self-important assholes, which is pretty fun to watch.
I also liked that the main character hooks up with a talented, streetwise, and unknown lady chef to create the famous beef balls. There are several scenes that feature her kicking major street gang ass.
Not quite Adele Blanc-Sec cool but really fun.
I hesitated to put this here because it was a mainstream release, but I find most people have never heard of it.
“Grandma’s Boy” is not the best or even the most sensical film ever made, but it boasts so many funny one-liners that I still quote it all the time. The themes center around video game development and men living with their parents and smoking a lot of weed so like I said, not highbrow. There’s probably some rude humor in there I wouldn’t necessarily say is friendly to all our readers. However, this movie makes me laugh a lot every time I think about it.
Watch at your own risk; enjoy the motherfucking king of the jungle.
The elevator pitch for this movie is “It’s ‘American Pie’ meets ‘Groundhog Day.’ ” I don’t necessarily find that true. “Premature” didn’t circle the drain of intense humiliation humor the way “American Pie” did, but I can see the resemblance.
Every time the main character in this movie has an orgasm, he resets his day. The goal is, of course, to live the perfect day so he can continue to move forward in his life. Naturally, there’s crude humor all over this (which is not a bad thing). Also, it stereotypes teenaged boys and girls pretty hard. However, I found it to be a lot more fun than “American Pie” and a lot less gross (despite the abundance of bodily fluids). Again, this is not a great cinematic masterpiece, but I thought it was fun.
Really though, just go watch Adele Blanc-Sec and her pterodactyl. You will not regret it.