Christmas Gifts for Dirty Minded People
Amazon can tell you all about gifts for “him” or “her” or “kids” or whatever. Sit down next to Auntie Amelia and let me give you some gift suggestions for the filthy, filthy minded people you know and love.
These books. I cannot crow from the rooftops loud enough about these books. Tiffany Reisz somehow manages to take topics as wide ranging as Catholicism, the publishing industry, and horse racing sexier than you ever imagined. These are not for beginning erotica readers, there are topics that can border into boundaries for some people–everything from heavy edge play BDSM to messing with ages of consent and the whole priest thing. Which of course, makes them all the hotter. Bonus, they are not only sexy, they are well written and the characters are fully realized. I love the people in these books, I wish they were real. Her dialogue and her sense of sarcastic timing are excellent and entertaining even when the story veers away from the bedroom. The stories are romantic without being schmaltzy, diverse and inclusive to all types of sexualities, genders and desires. Highly recommended for the kinky fucker in your life.
Want to buy visual porn “for a friend” or actually for a friend but aren’t sure what wouldn’t be gross? Visit Tony Comstock’s website, and discover porn so acceptable it’s been in Oprah magazine! The films feature real life couples who talk about–then demonstrate–their loving sexual relationships. The representation of sexualities and genders is good, and it’s truly sexy to see people who like each other having sex in all kinds of ways.
You know your friend is kinky. You know they like to do things you can’t quite conceive of in the bedroom. You want to be supportive but you don’t really want to know details. Get them a gift certificate to a shop that sells high quality gear at decent prices! If you want to look, they have some seriously hot models for some of their stuff, too. Bonus. They also have a gift guide if you want to get more specific.
4. Opening Up
Friends who are polyamorous/interested/curious? This is my favorite poly book. Tristan Taromino interviews several poly people, in many different relationship styles for the book. Your friend will also find solid, practical advice, checklists and straight talk about what the paths of non-monogamy can look like. Tristan Taromino also produces/directs a few great instructional videos on topics like kinky sex for couples and anal sex for women. Awesome stuff from a sex positive, feminist educator.
I picked out a cool starter kit here, enough rope to do some harnessing and fun restraints and Midori’s book on rope bondage. Twisted Monk’s rope is known for quality, safety, and beauty. Can’t really go wrong here. Plus, the kit comes with emergency scissors, so you don’t have to worry about your friends and their nerve endings becoming damaged.
I just like these, they are pretty and create their own massage oil, sort of a hot wax play without the ow ow ow and the ‘wax in the body hair’ issue. Just remind your friends that oil is not safe for condoms, plskthx.
6. Safety Basket
Feeling extra adventurous this year? Put together a safer sex basket for the PROMISCUOUS friend in your life (I’m taking it back, damn it). Tell your friend you support their explorations and want to cheerlead from the sidelines with some safety gear, perhaps arranged with some nice tissue paper and a note of support. (If you actually do this, please send me a picture. I need this in my life.)
Water based lube (no silicone on your silicone toys, people). This stuff is in a pretty bottle, too.
7. Love and Support
Your safest bet with any friend/loved one who is “off the beaten path” is a show of emotional support for their journey. Be they kinky pirates or aromantic asexual buddies, the best gift you can give a friend is allowing them to be themselves. If you don’t “get it,” that’s okay. You don’t have to get it to be there, just listen. Offer a hug if things are hard and they’d like that (ask). Don’t doubt their experience, just be present with them. Nothing is more powerful than feeling a little less alone.
Here’s hoping your shopping goes smoothly and is at least mildly entertaining!